


All We Need is Faith

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Heavenly Family [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Don't Ask, Gabriel is a fucking angsty little shit, just don't ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 11:56:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2024208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is not the end of the Universe. Not the true ending. Heaven wins, hell wins, it doesn’t matter. I haven’t got my trumpet orders. When the true end comes, I will be the first to know, and I wish it was now. It’s coming, but it’s dawdling along, stopping at every window along the way and browsing. There is so much time, and I am just… so over it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All We Need is Faith

**Author's Note:**

> The first time I heard End of All Days by 30 Seconds to Mars I cried, because it is a really beautiful song, but from the first line I couldn't help but think of Gabriel and it's really heartbreaking. Enjoy. The song is, of course, End of All Days by 30 Seconds to Mars.

**_I'm tired of the waiting,_ **  
**_For the end of all days._ **  
**_The prophets are preaching,_ **  
**_That the gods are needing praise._ **  
**_The headlights are coming,_ **  
**_Showing me the way._ **

_“I want it to be_ over _.”_

I got out once. Just _once_ I was free of this shit. Just _once_ I managed to get so far away I couldn’t even hear them, but it’s just… so tiring now. So… it’s just so much effort when I know it’s going to happen again one way or another. I’m done. I’m just done. I don’t care which side wins, Heaven, Hell, they’re the same evil. It doesn’t matter to me. I just want it to be done.

The prophets, my own special little humans. They who were made with me in mind. They all preach the same damn thing. Maybe it’s in a different language, maybe it’s in a different age, maybe it’s not even the same damn religion but the message is the same. The message is that which I bestowed upon them so long ago. The message Dad bestowed upon me, and I’m through hearing it. So through hearing it. But this one is not the apocalypse. This is not the end of the Universe. Not the true ending. Heaven wins, hell wins, it doesn’t matter. I haven’t got my trumpet orders. When the true end comes, I will be the first to know, and I wish it was now. It’s coming, but it’s dawdling along, stopping at every window along the way and browsing. There is so much time, and I am just… so over it.

_“I just want it to be over.”_

**_The serpents are singing,  
A song that's meant to say._ **

**_All we need is faith._**  
 ** _All we need is faith._**  
 ** _Faith is all we need._**

_“Daddy doesn’t say anything about anything.”_

As it is in Heaven, so it is on Earth, or however that stupid little saying goes. Everyone is preaching that all we need to do is believe. Believe in our Father, believe in Heaven. All we need is faith. All we need is love. _Lies._ The lot of it. All lies. Daddy isn’t listening. Daddy isn’t talking. Daddy hasn’t even deigned to think about us in fucking centuries. It’s not the end of the world, the world will live on because it’s not trumpet time. The world isn’t due to be burned in Heavenly fire, or engulfed in Hell flame until sometime in the distant future. It’s not because we believe in Daddy. It’s not because Daddy is listening. Daddy doesn’t give a shit.

 _“I_ loved _my father and my brothers. Loved them.”_

**_The desert is calling._ **   
**_The emptiness of space._ **  
**_The hunger of a lion_ **   
**_Is written on your face._ **   
**_A maniac's new love song._ **   
**_Destruction is his game._ **   
**_I need a new direction,_ **   
****** _Cause I have lost my way._ **

_“Dad doesn’t make us do anything.”_

It was so empty in the darkness. We came before Heaven. We existed before Heaven. In the emptiness, the blackness, the stillness of space. We dwelt in the dark, our grace the only proof of our own existence. Daddy turned on the lights. He gave us the means to create a place for us to dwell. A proper family, we built our home together, my brothers and I, Daddy lent us a hand every now and then, but we made Heaven. We did that. She was our own creation. She was the thing that tied us all together. Through her we could communicate with each other no matter where we went. She was so, so special. She was ours, and Daddy came to settle in the throne we had built for Him. We were a family. Then things went wrong.

Michael drank in the affection our Father gave to him, but he always wanted more. Lucifer revelled in the love our Father showered upon him, it made him brave, stupid, reckless. Neither of them have been sane for a very long time. Their graces sparked with madness and greed and betrayal, and everything fell apart. She, who had been our creation, she, who we had loved so much, she became warped. Her music, once so beautiful and cleansing became chaotic and angry, and I couldn’t tame it. Luci and Mikey were always the ones holding the balance, keeping her from tilting towards one form of destruction or another. When Luci fell and Daddy left, she became something else. Michael tore down and destroyed everything Lucifer had created, every part of her that had been lovingly crafted by Lucifer’s hand was burnt to the ground. She didn’t feel right anymore. She didn’t feel like home. I tore my own things down before Michael could do it for me. I needed somewhere else to go, I needed to get away. I fell.

_“I couldn’t bear it, okay? So I left.”_

**_The maniac messiah,_   
**_Destruction is his game._ **   
**_A beautiful liar,_ **   
**_Love for him is pain._ **   
**_The temples are now burning,_ **   
**_Our faith caught up in flames._ **   
**_I need a new direction,_ **   
****_Cause I have lost my way._ **

_“Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent Father.”_

The young ones, they have always been too young to understand. When Father left, most of them were only fledglings. They never had a hand in Heaven’s creation, they do not know Father did not make her. None of them ever saw Him, none of them ever met Him. They were always too young. They will always be too young. They have never felt the emptiness where once He dwelt. Michael tore down everything Lucifer created, I tore down everything I did, and everything Daddy had helped create seemed to fall of its own accord. The years were not kind to Heaven, every year she threatened to give way under her own weight, under the weight of the changes Michael was making. When we lost her, we lost our faith. She’s still there, but she’s not home. She’s still there, but I don’t know who she is anymore. I don’t know what she is anymore. She’s not the Heaven I helped create.

_“Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy’s plan.”_

**_All we need is faith._**  
 ** _All we need is faith._**  
 ** _Faith is all we need._**

_“This isn’t about a war, it’s about two brothers who loved each other, and_ betrayed _each other.”_

Once upon a time I loved my Father. Once upon a time I loved my brothers. But I learnt my lesson. All we need is faith, right? All we need is faith. Like the blind faith we all used to share. Like the blind faith of a child who trusts his Daddy to keep him safe. Like the blind faith of a son that loves his Father so much he can’t even hate Him for turning him into the Devil. Like the blind faith of a child who doesn’t know they’re being abandoned until it is three thousand years later and Daddy hasn’t come back. All we need is faith, right? Like the belief that Daddy wouldn’t cast us aside. All we need is faith, right? That’s all we need. Too bad. Maybe we had faith once, but we learnt our lesson. Daddy’s gone, he ain’t ever coming back. That’s just how it is.

_“It’s gonna end bloody for all of us. That’s just how it’s gotta be.”_


End file.
